Tuesday, August 18, 2009 was the day after my 58th birthday. My husband, Rick, and my step-daughter, Amber, accompanied me to the oncology gynecologist's office. He was a "tell it like it is" kind-of-a-guy who saw fit to mention his lack of warm and fuzzy characteristics. I did not like him. The way he conducted the physical examination confirmed his roughness around the edges. It was then that I felt something move inside of me. He was moving the tumor that he described as being the size of a grapefruit. He slowly used a sonogram to outline and measure that tumor and others. This cancer originated in the fallopian tube and spread to the ovaries, lymph nodes and colon. While I dressed, Rick got Amber from the waiting room and we all met with the doctor in his office.
Amber and Rick had tears in their eyes. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 fallopian tube cancer. We learned that the name of a cancer depends on its place of origin. This news was mind-numbing, to say the least. The doctor drew a picture of the area that would be surgically removed. I asked if I would end up with a colostomy. The doctor said it was possible, but he would not know until he was performing the actual surgery. Rick asked him to be as aggressive as possible removing the cancer. The surgery was scheduled for later the same week.
We were very quiet during the car ride back to our home. Other than determination and perseverance, I felt very little. I knew whatever happened, my Lord would walk with me through to the other side. One way or the other, I had no doubts about living and had little knowledge of what I was really going to be facing. I was clear, however, that I needed Rick's support and love in a way I had never needed anyone. When we arrived home, I saw that his face was full of feeling. I wanted him to talk to and see his friends as he needed, so that he could handle it all. And above all, I knew I was going to rely heavily on him, because this would be the biggest battle I had ever fought in my life. We prayed for God's mercy and healing. We asked to know His will in all of this and to know how we could glorify Him in the middle of what we envisioned to be quite an upcoming ordeal.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Devotional
2 Corinthians 4:6-9: For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
The great missionary, Paul, addressed these verses to the church at Corinth, one of the wealthiest and most wicked cities of its time, despite a growing Jewish population. Paul encouraged the Corinthians to give up their pagan ways for Christian life. Today, although we may not consider ourselves to be pagan, we struggle with sin.
Jesus is the One who illuminates all the darkest and most hidden places within us. It is through Him that we can experience the wonder of God's glory, although we can hardly fathom it. He does not promise through the blessing of His greatness that we will know only sunshine and flowers for the remainder of our days. But this scripture does reiterate to me that when I surrender my life to Him, I am an earthen vessel wherein His power may shine and bless, not only myself, but others, as well. This is so, not because of who I am, but because of Him.
We all have experienced challenges with health, family, finances and spiritual understanding, and sometimes it is easier to feel sorry for ourselves instead of grateful for the opportunities. You might ask, "What opportunities?" Every challenge brings us that much closer to the suffering of Jesus as He was growing into His responsibility and life mission. There are plenty of opportunities for learning affliction that do not bring us to feel crushed, despairing, forsaken or destroyed. In the process, we develop a deeper commitment to live for the Lord and a more tender compassion for His children. Will you join me today in praying that we might all better allow His glory to shine through us?
The great missionary, Paul, addressed these verses to the church at Corinth, one of the wealthiest and most wicked cities of its time, despite a growing Jewish population. Paul encouraged the Corinthians to give up their pagan ways for Christian life. Today, although we may not consider ourselves to be pagan, we struggle with sin.
Jesus is the One who illuminates all the darkest and most hidden places within us. It is through Him that we can experience the wonder of God's glory, although we can hardly fathom it. He does not promise through the blessing of His greatness that we will know only sunshine and flowers for the remainder of our days. But this scripture does reiterate to me that when I surrender my life to Him, I am an earthen vessel wherein His power may shine and bless, not only myself, but others, as well. This is so, not because of who I am, but because of Him.
We all have experienced challenges with health, family, finances and spiritual understanding, and sometimes it is easier to feel sorry for ourselves instead of grateful for the opportunities. You might ask, "What opportunities?" Every challenge brings us that much closer to the suffering of Jesus as He was growing into His responsibility and life mission. There are plenty of opportunities for learning affliction that do not bring us to feel crushed, despairing, forsaken or destroyed. In the process, we develop a deeper commitment to live for the Lord and a more tender compassion for His children. Will you join me today in praying that we might all better allow His glory to shine through us?
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