Please celebrate with me for a few moments. Gratefully, I turned 63 last
weekend and felt moved to review my last five years.
The week of my birthday in 2009, I had a colonoscopy, because of
disconcerting digestive symptoms and signs. When my gastroenterologist visited
me afterward in recovery, he behaved strangely, talking to me from the door,
not coming close and touching my hand as he had done when reviewing results with me
in the past. He simply said that something had been pressing on my colon and
that was the likely culprit for bloody stool. He told me to call my general
practitioner the next day.
I called, but kept missing the physician assistant. Since we were in the
area, my husband drove while I contemplated the facts. The PA handed me a few
sheets of paper and showed me the yellow post-it on top with a
doctor’s name on it. She had arranged for me to see him the following week. As my husband drove, I read the attached sheets and learned that I had
several tumors of varying sizes.
My husband read the same
information when we got home just a few minutes later. We looked up the name of the doctor I was to see and found that he
was the only gynecological oncologist in the state who was provided by my
insurance. Greatly disturbed by the handling of this information, my husband
began to try to contact someone in my GP’s office to no avail. It was late on Friday
and everyone had left for the weekend.
I knew something was really wrong. I told the Lord I did not know what His
plan was for me, but I trusted that He had one. I believed he would walk me to
the other side of this whatever-it-was “thing”. I would trust Him.
The day of the visit with the new doc, August 18, I was shown by ultrasound
a tumor inside of me that was the size of a grapefruit. I looked outside the
window and asked, “Will I have a colostomy?” He said it was possible, but he
did not know until he got in the OR.
To skip to the specifics, I had fallopian
tube cancer 3c. I purposefully used a little c to dishonor this little bug. It
worked its way from my fallopian tube to my ovaries, then my lymph nodes over
to my colon. At that time, there were 2500 cases in the world. Currently, fallopian
tube cancer occurs in about 1% of female cancers. The survival rate after five
years is 45% today for a case with the same involvement as what was found
inside of me. New research indicates occurrences of ovarian cancer may not have truly originated in the ovaries, but in the fallopian tubes instead.
I had known for at least a couple of years, if not more, that something
was wrong. But doctors did not move fast enough, despite my questioning lab
results of highly elevated platelets; changes in bowel consistency, frequency,
odor and color; nausea and low energy; feeling like I had an infection or virus
that would not go away and a smidgen of blood in my stool. They did not move fast enough and they almost missed it.
I even asked my GP
to perform a pap smear and exam, which she did not. She said I had
never had a problem before and frequency for that test and exam was being extended to every
couple of years. I have since found out that whether a pap smear is provided or
not, a physical/digital exam is required every year. When the oncology
gynecologist did this, he moved the grapefruit-size tumor around inside of me with
his finger. Believe me, I felt it.
My husband, Rick, and stepdaughter, Amber, had accompanied me to the doctor's office. Both had cried. Weepy eyes faced me at home. I went to be alone and realized how I needed my family. I told my husband that I needed him to deal with his feelings about the situation, because I needed his support. "Go out with your buddies, talk to them, see a counselor, do whatever you need to do, because this will be the toughest fight of my life and I need you." I cried for about 20 minutes. Then I started rebuking satan at every opportunity.
Surgery was performed on August 22 with a complete hysterectomy, removal
of lymph nodes, ovaries, and 8 inches of colon, tumors and surrounding cells. I
also had a new buddy delivered to my body in the form of a colostomy and a
fresh new ostomy appliance. Hey guys, it beat the alternative and I celebrated.
Although I did feel kind of stupid when I lifted eyelids in my hospital room to see my
friend sitting in a chair looking back at me in a peculiar way. I realized I must
have looked pretty stupid with my hands raised and arranging things in front of
me in mid-air. I lowered them and pushed that aside, opting for another lengthy
nap instead.
After returning home on August 28 for recovery with home health care and
rehab, I remembered thinking how odd it was that the doctor told me that his
patient’s did not return to the hospital with infections. Well, that thought
lasted about 36 hours until I ended up in the ER with a rip-roaring infection,
or so they said. They immediately began giving me IV fluids, vancomycin (one of
the super bad-boy antibiotics) and kept me for another five days. The doctor
told me he was giving me antibiotics to take home with me. He said it was just
to be on the safe side. Well, hallelujah, let’s celebrate!
The moral of this much of my tale? We need to be very mindful of what we
believe in, depend on, respond to and expect in this life on this fallen world.
Our own intellect will not sustain us, but if we listen for the Holy Spirit, He
will guide us in the right direction and according to the Father’s will. The
intellect, compassion, ego and skills of researchers, scientists and medical
professionals will not see us through to the other side. Only the Lord will,
and we need to believe and trust Him, keeping our eyes on Him from the starting
line.
We live in a fallen world. Everything is topsy-turvy and inside-out. Nothing
is as it should be if it complied with our spiritual yearnings, comprehension
of justice, morality, love, sensibility, balance and credibility. Unless you remember we are
all just human. And because we are His beloved sons and daughters, our Abba
holds us up, moves us forward and remains victorious through His renewal,
revival and restoration evidenced in our lives.
No issue of blood will
overthrow our faith or His majestic healing. Outcomes need not be
our concern. Nor shall the fear of sleep, illness nor death taking us. Because we
always awaken in the light of His glory, no matter how dreary current prospects are in this carnal world. No matter what. Because He loves us to
earth and back to heaven. Because here in the power of Christ we stand. Amen?
Will you celebrate with me?
Romans 8:18 (ESV)
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the
glory that will be revealed in us.
